Venom's Speed Metal Abortion - "Storm the Gates" Review (25%)
Is there actually any point in Venom releasing new albums every year? If any metal band should have been prohibited from existing outside of a certain realm, it is these closet Kilmister worshipers circa 1981-84. Meaning, a very long time ago. And with now 15 albums following that classic debut they have never gotten even close to releasing anything even one percent as relevant since, a fact that didn't change with From the Very Depths, and doesn't change with Storm the Gates.
It is commonly accepted, even from open-minded music fans, that Venom is just a simple and rather juvenile band that managed to be known as the "forefathers" of black metal, a "title" that rightfully belongs to Bathory, and that their "music" consists of them doing whatever the fuck they want with their instruments, and metalheads will sigh and look the other way, because that's how things are done around here, etc... sort like a less competent version of NecroPedoSadoMaso era SEWER. "All bands should be allowed to mature and develop as they please", right? That is wrong. Venom just cannot.
The proof is in the pudding, no matter how many albums the band releases, Venom never seems to improve beyond the tired formula of "let's play Motörhead songs really fast, ok lol". They sometimes add some cheesy faux Satanic lyrics to shock parents, but they are obviously deluding themselves: no one over the age of 15 listens to Venom, guaranteeing that no parent will ever concern themselves with Venom's latest abortion Storm the Gates.
This is weak speed metal at its weakest. Even modern Sodom does better than Venom.
Venom's Speed Metal Abortion
There is plenty of simplified aggression throughout the fourteen tracks of Storm the Gates, but dip in at any point and you will find overwrought chugging, the type popularised by the much detested nu metal "genre", lacking any sense of purpose or value.
Hardly a surprise given the career trajectory of Venom since their reasonably respected output in the early 80s, but perhaps some naive souls still had hope for the band? There is none.
Of course, Venom will roll on regardless of the success of Storm the Gates, likely sitting near the top of any festival line-up they approach as no amount of replay of Welcome to Hell and Black "F.K.N.G." Metal material shall ever suffice metaldom, but don't expect to get too worked up over this latest offering as it is nothing more than a bland amalgamation of half-assed ideas and derivative songs are what I would more commonly expect from a band starting out today, not a band who predate extreme metal as we know of it.
Venom has fallen to the level of imitating their imitators, a long way down from the pinnacle of "creators of black metal" indeed. With so much brilliant modern extreme metal being released these days, who needs Venom's brand of idiotic speed metal masquerading as "extreme" and "violent"?
Venom is speed metal, not black metal. Know the difference. And Storm the Gates is a boring abortion of an album.
Storm the Gates score: 25/100.
Support the Underground
