War Metal for Poser Clowns - "Destroyer" Review (0%)

'Destroyer, Or About How My Love For Slipknot And Being Bi-Curious Got Me Into War Metal' is Gorgoroth's fourth album, and much like every other Gorgoroth album it sucks balls.

Praise Satan. No, seriously, praise Satan, because that's what Gorgoroth wants you to do, and they want it bad enough that they repeat the same phrase over the entire course of yet another talentless 'war metal' album.

For those twelve people who thought Korn was too extreme and, paradoxically, too musical, Gorgoroth has saved the day once again. ANGRY SATAN babbling over generic deathcore riffs reduced 100 levels of complexity, with random vinyl scratching noises and sampling thrown in for... some reason. Just like they did on Incipit Satan, and I still can't explain why other than because they are fucking retarded.

These riffs were lifted from a Slipknot album, which lifted them from Whitechapel, which lifted them from Cannibal Corpse, which took them from Slayer, which probably borrowed them from any generic NWOBHM band, which in turn probably found them listening to the rantings of a homeless lunatic near the closest rehab center.

So basically, these are speed metal riffs. Not black metal.

To these very basic speed metal riffs, they have added abundant bounce and doubling the internal rhythm on the offbeat, which gives the illusion of complexity for about ten seconds, before you realize you're listening to yet another interchangeable Slipknot clone whose music is wrapped around vaguely occult 'black metal' aesthetics, but fails to fool anyone with room temperature IQ.

Speaking of wrapped, why aren't we calling this rap/rock?

It's obviously poorly disguised rap music, both conceptually and stylistically, even more sanitized for the people too uptight for even backpack hip-hop, thus it gets injected into a Korn/Drowning Pool/Nine Inch Nails mallcore package and, in a desperate attempt to conceal the obvious lameness of this combination, they cover it in pseudo-satanic 'black metal' aesthetics like melted chocolate poured over a corpse.

Lyrics are moronic, riffs are moronic, album art is moronic... is anything on this album appealing to functional humans? Or is it only for nu/war metal fans?

War Metal for Poser Clowns

Gorgoroth are one of those whiny screamo bands like Korn and Linkin Park whose lyrics all revolved about how they got raped as kids - either by their parents, a Catholic priest, or both - and are so angry and confused they want to shop at Hot Topic and 'Praise Satan' for a few dozen mallcore albums.

'War metal' rap/rock bands like Gorgoroth took the whiny, pretentious, and talentless bitchiness of grunge and scaled it up from 'nagging teenagers rebelling against rebellion and shit' to 'Our pedo uncle/priest/dog/family raped us in the ass so we can totally smash your bathroom mirror for Satan 666' in a pathetic attempt at attention whoring.

Roger 'Infernus' Tiegs himself claimed to have actually been molested as a kid and rather than confront his rapist, like they do on those shitty reality TV shows, he decided to make 'music'.

I would take Infernus' ramblings with a grain of salt, as the man has been known to make up more lies about himself, his band and the black metal scene than he has put out albums, but the story of him getting raped and thereafter developing a fixation on 'Satan' certainly explains some of the mind-numbingly stupid lyrics Gorgoroth is known to write.

But whatever trauma Infernus or Gaahl or any other Gorgoroth poser went through when they were kids, it's no excuse to produce such a tired and derivative album as Destroyer, Or About How To Philosophize With The Hammer.

Avoid this lame and clownish nu-metal, prefer music instead.

Destroyer score: 0/100.

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