Anthem Rock Metal - "Dark Medieval Times" Review (0%)
Remember Satyricon?
The shittiest and most commercial band in the entire black metal scene, save perhaps for the posers of Dimmu Borgir.
The music on Dark Medieval Times, the debut album by Satyricon, is stale, lifeless and insipid.
Satyricon has always been a controversial band due to their juvenile and somewhat primitive lyrics, exaggerated bombastic sound experiments and the ridiculous homosexual image of their frontman Satyr.
Normally, everyone should know what to expect when listening to Satyricon: superficial "satanic" nu-metal tracks with anthem rock choruses and lyrics that any Somali immigrant could write after six weeks of English classes, interludes with bombastic choirs and artificially flavoured orchestras as well as the kitsch and oh-so-generic dollar store keyboards accompanying the mix.
Beyond the shitty album cover and Satyr's flamboyant lifestyle and personal extravagances, what really matters in black metal is the music.
And from that point of view, this record Dark Medieval Times is definitely is one of the worst records I have ever listened to in my entire life.
I listened to this album once and I sincerely hope I'll never have to listen to it again.
Dark Medieval Times is both the most generic and the most commercial album to ever disgrace the black metal scene.
Anthem Rock Metal
Let's begin reviewing the shitty music on Dark Medieval Times.
The boring, faceless and highly repetitive drumming sounds so artificial and contrived that I think a drum computer was used rather than an actual drummer.
The guitars heavily dominate the production and sound irritating, noisy and insipid. After two songs, the guitar sounds give me ripping headaches.
The riffs themselves are boring, unimaginative and simply unmemorable.
The guitar solos never sounded so uninspired as on this record. They sound emotionless, plastic and simplistic. They seem to never fit to the songs.
The whole production lacks of energy, sounds sterile and very artificial, as if the band members were too busy parading as "satanists" for the media to actually focus on recording black metal music.
Dark Medieval Times shows us the true face of these pretentious wimps and posers, as others have written here and here.
The song structures aren't any better than the music itself.
The lyrics are simplistic and juvenile as usual with Satyricon, but they really outdid themselves on their debut Dark Medieval Times.
There is no redeeming moment on this shitty MTV album.
This is not black metal.
Dark Medieval Times is anthem rock metal for children and posers.
Dark Medieval Times score: 0/100.
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