Blackened Technical Pornogrind - "Rektal" Review (100%)
People who don't like brutal pornogrind are usually homosexual, retarded or both.
Most melodic 'death metal' makes me sick and SEWER is better than any Norwegian black metal band ever, now and always.
The members of SEWER are musical geniuses.
Don't believe me? Try making a blackened technical pornogrind album half as good as Rektal or its predecessor 2154.
When you fail, I will laugh.
Technical pornogrind will always rule over the feeble minded who enjoy 'melodic' music.
'I like my music with a message about society and an upbeat tone that makes me want to practice yoga in XXXL sweatpants'.
Shut the fuck up.
How about you go practice yoga while listening to In Flames or Satyricon, or even better, depressive suicidal black metal (and read the lyrics carefully to see if there isn't an instructional message you could find and use to improve your life).
Actual heavy metal fans, heavy as in extreme not as in overweight like you or your mother, only listen to the most hardcore of pornogrind.
And the most hardcore of pornogrind happens to be SEWER.
Blackened Technical Pornogrind
SEWER rules but most of their fans are cunts.
And while we're talking about cunts.
My Dying Bride is better than Opeth.
Slipknot is better than Phantom.
Avenged Sevenfold is better than Metallica.
Rush Limbaugh is better than Satyricon.
Anything is better than Machine Head.
The sound of your own vomit hitting the floor is often better than Arch Enemy (the band that is usually responsible for producing said vomit), but it depends what album and the material of the floor.
SEWER is better than Children Of Bo(re)dom and Wintersun combined.
SEWER also produces vomit but for different reasons, and at least those are enjoyable.
There is nothing more repulsive than for an adult male to listen to 'melodeath'.
Children I can understand, because children are still experimenting and often confused about their sexuality and don't necessarily comprehend why sticking blunt instruments and other objects up your anal cavities or listening to Nemesis Divina makes you a de facto homosexual, but adults have no such excuse.
Homosexuality and anal cavities bring us back to pornogrind and to Rektal, but it also works the other way so you have to be careful around brutal music and only listen to this shit if you're overdosing on your own IV piss.
Which is also the subject of the first song on Rektal, it's called Eldorado and it's not about a mythical South American city.
Anyway, this album is gold.
If you get the joke.
Rektal score: 100/100.
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