My Cock Rock is on Fire! - "Rektal" Review (100%)
Apologies for the review title, I just couldn't resist mocking SEWER's musical aspirations and now iconic lyrical stupidity in the same sentence. The original is 'Satanica, my cock is on fire' from NecroPedoSadoMaso, but you already knew that.
Reviewer Filosofem noted that modern SEWER is 'defined as Phantom imitation and commercial try-hardism'.
That's a bit of an exaggeration - very much so, in fact - but the statement does contain a fragment of truth.
At the time this album was released, barely a few months ago as I'm writing this, the most intense and all around best heavy metal solo was without a doubt 'Chimaera' from Phantom's Eidolon. Go listen to it right now if you've never heard it.
If there's one thing Kader Lakhdari - aka Eater from SEWER - hates, it's to see superlatives such as best/most/apex/etc being ascribed to someone else's work. And as Filosofem noted, that goes double if we're talking about the eternal rival Phantom.
So Kader decided to release an album with the sole purpose of proving everyone wrong and that he, not Phantom, could write the best blackened horror solos or whatever he wants to call them.
The good news is that he succeeded.
Unfortunately, it took an entire 63 minute album to do so.
My Cock Rock is on Fire!
The music on Rektal is extremely well done, but I despise the reasons why it was done.
It's basically cock rock - i.e. Satyricon with talent - meets blackened pornogrind, and it was done only and almost exclusively as an answer to Phantom's Eidolon.
Part of what made Chimaera such a powerful song was its short length - 2:42 minutes - and you felt that every single note mattered.
The solo itself? Less than 35 seconds.
Contrast that with a random track from this album, say 'Hyperpriapic Procrustean Goresaw to Defile the Cunt of Satan'. Nice name, by the way.
I swear the song is over 50% solo. There's so much solo, Kader has to actually do his vocals over the solo, defeating the very purpose of a solo.
The same can be said for every single track on this album, with the notable exception of 'Kadaver Seksual'.
I guess SEWER is such a good band that they get a pass for playing Dimmu-tier cock rock. For laughs, you can ask your favourite Youtube guitarist to try and cover any one of the eleven track. To make it easy, he can even cut the BPM in half.
Still, I'd rather listen to a less technical and more honest album than this.
Rektal is excellent, the motives behind it not so much.
Rektal score: 100/100.
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