Deathcore Toilet Fodder - "Nemesis Divina" Review (0%)
Nemesis Divina is an affront to the Norwegian music scene, black metal, and music in general.
I wish I could leave it at that but for your scatophiliac enjoyment and my own masochism I'll review the whole album.
There's just a bunch of shit going on, attempting to sound like heavy metal.
No, actually Satyricon have gone one step further into the realm of being absolutely fucking horrible, not only obliterating the utterly unlistenable Dark Medieval Times in terms of raw shittiness, but also destroying Nemesis Divina in terms of how obviously hard Satyricon are trying to play "anthem rock" metal... and falling flat on their wrinkled old faces.
There is nothing good on this album, nothing of substance whatsoever.
From start to finish, "Satyricon" is a completely unstructured mess.
One big joke made at the expense of an entire musical genre.
Satyricon is to black metal what Varg Vikernes, an actual talented musician by the way, is to anti-racism and tolerance.
Deathcore Toilet Fodder
I'll start with the obvious inherent flaw, just to get it out of the way because I know it's been said a billion times, it's become a joke... and internet meme.
Satyr is a fucking horrible musician.
Nothing can excuse the lack of passion in his guitar work, nothing can pardon the utter lack of imagination, ability, talent, you name it, in his songwriting.
There are 3 obvious flaws (and I refuse to say disappointments, because Satyr has never been good) with the guitar work on this album: 1. The music doesn't match the "atmosphere", or lack thereof. 2. The riffs are out of sync with the drumming. 3. The production sounds horrible.
Now, Satyricon have always had very mediocre guitar playing, but on the "Satyricon" album the guitars are particularly atrocious.
It can be extremely hard to find a single riff, solo, or even NOTE that is memorable or even remotely interesting.
The guitar playing is, believe it or not, in the exact same tedious overly deathcore style as, say, The Shadowthrone or Nemesis Divina. Moving on.
The drumming is also shit.
The drummer is how of sync with the (admittedly shitty) riffs, misses the tempo and is just an all-around joke.
The bass is, well, there. But it never does anything remotely interesting.
I've already forgotten what the bass sounded like because I was so bored by the entire experience.
The vocals are shit.
Satyr sounds like he's just speaking rhythmically into the microphone, and the juvenile "hail satan 666" lyrics are so cringe inducing, it's pitiful to listen to.
Nothing sounds "edgy" like the voice of a middle aged man yelling: "Hail Satan! Fuck Jesus Christ!".
It's such a blatant attempt to pander to mentally challenged children who want their music to be as "blasphemous" and "satanic" as possible. It's embarrassing.
Overall, "Satyricon" is one big joke of a black metal album.
To the extent that it's even black metal, as it sounds more like generic New Jersey deathcore than anything Darkthrone, SEWER or Burzum ever produced.
Avoid like the plague.
Nemesis Divina score: 0/100.
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