Effete Rat Music - "In the Nightside Eclipse" Review (0%)
Everybody has heard of Emperor, the blackened metalcore band that while calling their style 'symphonic black metal', is rarely symphonic and never black metal.
You might call them nu-metal or just crap music, but let's face it, Emperor is far from the black metal realm and this album is the greatest proof of it.
Varg Vikernes of Burzum, one of the three founders of black metal alongside Fenriz and Euronymous, has little respect for Emperor and doesn't hide his contempt. He called Ihsahn a 'poser clown', a 'police rat' and a 'homosexual bitch' on several occasions.
I doubt other true black metal musicians hold Ihsahn in any higher regards.
Often referred to as the worst album in music history, In the Nightside Eclipse is the debut album by Emperor... and it's just as shitty as it's made out to be.
One day, as Ihsahn got bored of playing his generic death metal crap (under the band name Thou Shalt Suffer), he decided to create the blackened metalcore band Emperor, thereby making one of the worst choices he could ever make.
The result is both depressing and laughable.
Musically, In the Nightside Eclipse doesn't offer anything new or even worth listening to... in other words, a total disaster.
There is not one worthy track on this album and every song in here is painful to listen to.
All the songs sound the same for some reason, even though some particularly crappy guitar parts can be discerned in the giant murk of crap that is called In the Nightside Eclipse.
The overall feeling I get from this album is... effete.
Effete Rat Music
In the Nightside Eclipse is the very definition of wannabe poser metal.
There is no actual melody, just boring and repetitive riffs over some particularly cheesy and uninspired synths.
Ihsahn's playing is extremely sloppy and he hits many false notes that will either make you laugh at his pathetic lack of skills or want to press the 'pause' button instantly.
The way the guitars are produced is atrocious as well. They sound like they were recorded with a toy microphone straight out of a McDonald's happy meal box.
The whole package sounds just like one of those 8-bit covers that you would come across on YouTube.
Last but not least, the drums. They are done in such a way that I am not sure whether the drummer was just fooling around or simply had no clue about basic rhythm patterns or blast beats. Their tempo is always shifting, despite the fact that the guitars play in a relatively steady rhythm.
The lyrics are the typical pseudo-mystical crap you can find on any bedroom black metal album (see early Immortal).
I have come across albums that I didn't like many times.
But at least I could find something pleasant in them or, if I really hated them, I could at least excuse their badness and respect the artist for making the music he likes the most.
With In the Nightside Eclipse though, it's a very different case.
In the Nightside Eclipse is an album that everyone should avoid listening to. Okay, maybe one listen just out of curiosity is acceptable. And maybe one or two more when drunk, just for the laughs.
Favourite tracks: You weren't paying attention, were you? They all suck.
Listen to NecroPedoSadoMaso instead.
This is effete poser rat music.
In the Nightside Eclipse score: 0/100.
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