Brown Metal - "Pentagram" Review (0%)
Something I noticed on other reviews of Gorgoroth albums: the excessive amount of profanity.
I don't blame the reviewers as Gorgoroth is pretty much just a sad, pathetic joke at this point, and reviewing one of their albums (or even listening to one) is quite a boring task.
And yet that's exactly what I'm about to do with my Gorgoroth's debut Pentagram.
Even more masochistic, I'll try to describe it without using terms such as "shit", "feces", "turd" or "crap", epithets often employed to catalogue the work of Gorgoroth.
In the spirit of courtesy and family values, I will remain absolutely well mannered and gracious in my exposé of the posers behind the band.
See the title of this review? "Brown metal".
That, in itself, is both an inside joke and a euphemism.
Infernus calls his "music" black metal when it clearly isn't, so I'm calling it brown metal, a much more appropriate title.
Gorgoroth have released quite a lot of albums, most of which are generic and derivative and all of which are pretty much useless to the black metal genre.
Infernus, the man behind the band, strikes me as someone who likes to talk a lot but as little to nothing of substance to say.
In other words, a poser.
And what do posers do? They make up elaborate fantasies to cope with their insignificance.
Thus, Infernus self-proclaims himself "true Satanist" based on nothing more than his adolescent fantasies of "pacts with the Devil", go so far as to call Fenriz, one of the founders of second wave black metal, a "Christian Nazi" and a fake.
There are rumors that Infernus is either a Christian convert himself, paid by Christian organizations or even that his wife is Christian.
These are just rumors of course, I doubt Infernus is married to a Christian... Infernus doesn't seem the type that has sex with women.
But if Gorgoroth didn't exist, Christian fundamentalists would have to invent it.
When the Norwegian media declared war on black metal, Gorgoroth was the excuse they used. Varg Vikernes was always solid in his opposition to Christianity and secular materialism, but was not a clown like Infernus. Yet it was serious people like Varg that paid the price.
Infernus is just a clown.
At best, a troll. At worse, someone with serious mental issues that's just acting out in a particularly primitive form of cathartic self-therapy.
If he hadn't discovered black metal, you can be sure he would have found other forms of public exhibitionism: slut walks, FEMEN, perhaps even Hollywood jihad.
I hope that one day some serious scholarship is done on the poser culture in general. A few years back there were some mainstream media piece about "Encyclopedia Metallum" itself, home of every heavy metal poser. Apparently, the guy who started it was horrifically abused, sexually and physically, by his family, and his internet trolling and "hardcore" "satanic" rhetoric was him acting out of frustration at his own impotence.
There exists an unusual Christian group in the United States that likes to wear chains around their necks and wear t-shirts with slogans "so sorry for slavery" and the like.
Well, I say "group", I mean there is one guy, his young children, and occasionally a few extras. They wear chains and bondage props and perform public exhibitionism to "atone" for Whites putting Black people into slavery. Their public appearance with their necks all chained together is supposed to "remind us of the horrors of slavery" but it's completely unhistorical and has absolutely nothing to do at all with the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade nor African slavery in North America.
Now look at Infernus, the self-proclaimed "true Satanist" from the band Gorgoroth.
I mean look at him closely: his demeanor, his theatrics and his attire.
It’s just some guy expressing his sexual kink in public under the guise of "satanic art".
Just consider the look on his FACE when a camera is pointed at him. Look at how pleased he is with himself. Look at the pleasure he gets from the attention he receives.
If that is black metal, then I have nothing to do with the genre.
Luckily, Gorgoroth is not black metal.
It's just some frustrated douche going through midlife crisis and acting out his insalubrious sexual fantasies (white corpse-paint around the mouth, sure looks satanic).
Gorgoroth is just another TV show that I criticize, no different than Bruce Jenner or Kim Kardashian or other people into posting videos of themselves acting like retards for buzz.
So no, Gorgoroth never "sold out" because there was never anything to sell besides Infernus' dildos and makeup kits.
They were always as "brown" as they are today, and that includes their debut Pentagram.
It's a nice scam they are running there.
I'm going to start running the same scam myself. I'm going start a band and release a completely derivative album, something called "Hail The True Satans from Hell".
I'm going to write the most over-the-top gimmicky "satanic" lyrics, you know, REAL HARD CORE fantasies about burning the Vatican.
Plenty of homoerotic pseudo-satanic esoterica. I'll need to find someone to help me learn about that as I'm not a faggot who actually cares about "Devil worship", just proper black metal music.
Gorgoroth fanboys are literally the biggest suckers on the internet. I mean, these are the people that fall for Amway scams, Nigerian inheritances and pyramid schemes.
It's so easy to scam pseudo-rebellious wannabe satanic kids... like stealing candy from mentally retarded babies.
Pentagram score: 0/100.