Emperor Sucks - "Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk" Review (0%)
And here is Emperor's contribution to the gutters of the black metal scene, Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk.
Apparently this is some sort of a big deal in the metal scene (I wouldn't know as I wasn't alive at the time), and judging by how hideously overblown and pompous this albums sounds, clearly the band thought so too.
The problem is that this album Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk is complete shit from the start.
Not once does this record amaze, haunt, please or even surprise the listener.
It is a catastrophically boring, headache inducing, and just poorly executed and unmemorable album that cheapens the entire black metal genre by association with this turd.
To dispense with the obvious, the album Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk has one of the worst productions you will ever encounter on a black metal album.
Even more artificial sounding than the electronically layered Nemesis Divina, somehow even more lacking in dynamics and obnoxious Esoteric Warfare, and even more grating and annoying than the laughable Battles in the North, this album sounds like shit.
Emperor sucks.
Badly.
Emperor Sucks
The instrumental performances themselves on Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk are exceedingly boring and unmemorable, mainly due to their generic and one-dimensional nature.
I struggle to remember a single riff on this album, barring the opening riff to 'Ye Entrancemperium', which, surprise surprise, was actually written by Euronymous (you know, the guy that isn't in Emperor).
And good Satan, do the keyboards suck...
Those fucking cheap value-priced keyboards.
I can't put it off any longer, the keyboards suck.
They suck BALLS.
Particularly the terrible trumpets on 'Alsvartr (The Oath)' and 'Opus A Satana'.
They sound so fake that it is laughable.
They even get distorted by the drums at some points, indicating that they occupy a space very close to them, as evidenced by the fact that they are an inescapable, gloopy mass that makes the album sound like shit and make it even more atmosphereless than before.
This lack of atmosphere highlights what is easily the most severe failure of the album.
Poor construction is one thing, badly mixed instrumentation that wasn't even good to begin with is another, but the total lack of atmosphere is the nail in the coffin.
Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk doesn't even feel like black metal.
And that, my friends, is Emperor's sophomore album, a pretentious, dull, grating, badly executed and bloated piece of shit that marked the artistic death of black metal.
A catastrophic failure, a miserable album that does nothing right.
It takes the formula of actual black metal, meaning Darkthrone and Burzum, streamlines it, castrates it, uses inferior components and shits all over an entire genre of music.
Fuck this album.
Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk score: 0/100.
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