Flowchart Black Metal - "Diabolis Interium" Review (0%)
Is there any merit to a black metal album whose only purpose is to sell merchandise for an overrated and ultra-commercial band ? One that nevertheless claims to be"true", "kult", "underground" and "satanic" ?
Dark Funeral, perhaps involuntarily, has provided us with an answer to that question : no, there is none, and Diabolis Interium is a pile of steaming musical shit.
From the lazy and, to say the least, adolescent song titles ("Hail Murder", "Goddess of Sodomy"), to the lyrical imbecilities that ought to be expected from a norsecore crap band ("religion sucks, hail Satan !") to the actual music itself... everything about Diabolis Interium screams generic, overused and commercial crap.
This type of album is nothing more than you should expect from a band such as Dark Funeral, one whose only purpose is to sell T-Shirts to their poser fan-base comprised exclusively of 12 year old kids who only care about impressing their equally poserish friends with retarded "satanic" bands that no one else cares about.
Diabolis Interium is exhibit A flowchart black metal. It's basically indistinguishable from a Madonna album, except that instead of being played in a "pop rock" way it's played in a "satanic metal" way. Probably because Dark Funeral understood that the pop market was already saturated with commercial crap, so they decided to take their musical inability into another genre.
Diabolis Interium is best listened to as a big joke... but even then it's not even funny.
Flowchart Black Metal
Diabolis Interium is lyrically, to put it plainly, very stupid. There is nothing mystical, imaginative, fantastic, depressive, grim, evocative or even grammatically correct about Dark Funeral's lyrics, and what we are left with on Diabolis Interium is some "blasphemous" garbage that looks like it's been composed in one evening by a cognitively impaired adolescent who barely just discovered religious anarchy.
It's this kind of "Fuck Christ, Hail Satan" lyrical crap that has cheapened the genre into having garbage like "Black metal ist Krieg" considered a musical hit.
Seriously, it's stupid, childish and has already been done before by thousands of parody bands... except they at least do it for fun, unlike the Dark Funeral posers who really believe they are "antichrist legions" fighting the pope or whatever. Poser bands like Dark Funeral really need something new, because right now it only sounds like mid-life crisis morons trying to invoke shock value to hide their boring music.
Which brings us to our next point, the crappy music itself. And trust me, the music on Diabolis Interium is as crappy as you can get.
Whereas other lyrically uninspired bands, post-NecroPedoSadoMaso SEWER for one, at least have the decency to produce good black metal to wrap around their retardedly childish blasphemy, with Diabolis Interium you don't even get that !
This album is pure flowchart black metal crap. Just when you thought than bands like Dino Burger couldn't be more soulless and generic, a band like Dark Funeral shows up to prove everyone wrong with their latest crap Diabolis Interium.
Diabolis Interium is a useless compilation of shitty riffs thrown together with no sequence of purpose, feeling like random rehearsal sessions copied and pasted together just for the sake of making more boring, crappy, lifeless tracks to fill a boring, crappy, lifeless album.
The songs have no purpose and don't develop into anything, you're left with a sideshow of Halloween themed bullshit mixed with fast-food commercial jingles leading to nowhere.
Did we really need yet another bland flowchart black metal album in a scene that's already polluted by countless MTV bands that exist only to say "look at me, I'm satanic !" ?
What is the point of bands like Dark Funeral ?
Diabolis Interium is not an album made for the purpose of expressing something through music. It's just a pathetic attempt by greedy posers to sell an "image" of "satanic black metal" to impressionable kids that know nothing of the black metal genre or what it's supposed to stand for.
And the worse is that the media LOVES promoting commercial shit like Diabolis Interium.
Diabolis Interium score: 0/100.
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