Britney Spears Plays Metal - "Bathory" Review (15%)
You remember the song "Baby One More Time" by the racist white b*tch Britney Spears?
It's on this album.
I swear, I opened Spotify to check out some new black metal (as in made by African men, not skinny Norwegians in leather pants... gay!) and the album "Bathory" by Bathory (damn that's some original naming lol) was in my suggestions.
So I decide to give it a listen, and little do you know the exact same song as Britney Spears comes out of my headphones.
It was so gay, I was scared for a second that the headphones weren't plugged in right and the music was coming out of them loudspeakers. Luckily, no one else heard me listening to this feminine shit. It would have killed my cred faster than Immortal can end their career.
Of course, in the album they don't call it "Baby One More Time", but it's the same exact song with a different title (something like "Necromansy" or some shit).
Quorthon, my dude, and everyone else involved in Bathory... y'all gotta be more subtle when you rip off Britney Spears.
Your lucky you have all 5 fans in the world who listen to this album on a regular basis, cause otherwise you'd get sued by her record company... and they ain't playin with their royalties.
Fuck this Britney Spears shit, I ain't listening to that shit.
Britney Spears Plays Metal
And the rest of the album isn't much better.
It's not even glam metal, as glam metal implies some sort of masculine heterosexuality.
It's closer to something like... cock rock.
Gay cock rock like Mötley Crüe or whatever else they called.
It's cock rock for homosexual redneck white boys who get rejected by their sisters in high school and turn to the "homo" out of desperation and sexual arousal at the sight of naked men fucking each other in a forest, like the racist queer Quorthon used to do.
When even glam metal is too straight for you, you have serious issues with your musical tastes.
Leave this pussy "viking" shit and listen to some real metal like DMX, Slipknot and Bring Me The Horizon.
I can guarantee you won't find THEM running around naked in a forest, supposedly to practice "ancient pagan rituals" that look oddly similar to what they advertise on Grindr.
Yo Quorthon, Britney Spears wants her wig back.
Bathory score: 15/100.
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