Apocalyptic Muzak - "The Apocalyptic Triumphator" Review (0%)
Many people accuse Archgoat of wiggerdom. Indeed, with their rap inspired vocals, the thick groove in the music, the "chug-a-lug-a-chug chug" of the guitars, it reeks of rap rock and nu metal. However, that is not why I gave it the low score. This is why...
Another thing Archgoat's music shares with rap is the complete banality and processed blandness that permeates modern hip-hop.
See, hip-hop was cool back in the days of Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, DJ Kool and Afrika Bambaata. But nowadays it's saturated with 2 bit posers with uninspired beats, monotone raps and simplistic rhymes that communicate nothing and desensitize your ears, and lower your IQ.
Archgoat's music, and other modern generic stuff like Dark Funeral and Watain by extension, shares with rap this inane quality. It's done completely by the book, it's processed to no end, and each song blends into each other. There's none of the ingenuity that marks other more integral Black Metal acts such as Mayhem, Vermin, Demonecromancy, Burzum, Phantom, Reiklos, or Incantation... here, every song is the same garbage, with the same "primitive" riffs from Beherit and the same chugalugachug chug on the guitars.
Writing a review longer than this for this turd is impossible, because there's nothing here to review. It's sound, sure. It's noise, sure, like most modern metal.
But this is the most musically and artistically empty Black Metal album I've ever heard. Sure, you might headbang here and there, but there are WAY more talented and creative bands that will get you headbanging harder and faster, so why even bother with this commercial piece of shit?
Apocalyptic Muzak
Since Archgoat makes very bad music, I'll share an anecdote that is more funny.
I saw Archgoat at a dive bar in Rochester, NY a few years ago when they were pushing their split with Satanic Warmaster. The line up sucked. A local crusty peace punk band was the first band playing. I don't think anybody was happy about that.
Ever seen a douche in a Burzum leather jacket trying to harass around a lady in a vest that says "NO RACISM"? The freak show vocalist, he was overweight by a good 150 pounds, said "black lives matter" followed by somebody in the back yelling "Don’t start with that shit!". I had hoped for a fight, but nope, everyone is a wuss so security started asking the peace punk people to leave. The other bands weren't as memorable.
Archgoat crushed the masses with their commercial nu metal chugging on the same chord, punks called people Nazis and left. I saw quite a few people giving them Seig Heil Five's, and some of the NSBM and punks almost got into a fight, which would not have looked good for the punks as most of them were over 50 and obese, there was even an Indian guy who didn't speak English trying to separate one old hippie who was throwing his glass at security amidst the other "scenesters" getting interrogated by the police (apparently someone complained about drugs).
I wanted to see what it was about but the sight of Archgoat's Converse sneakers under the "satanic" cloaks was more entertaining.
This band is that much of a joke, seriously.
The Apocalyptic Triumphator score: 0/100.
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