Mock Satanic Metal - "Nemesis Divina" Review (0%)
Nemesis Divina is mock satanic black metal.
There is literally no albums that comes close to the pile of shit that is Nemesis Divina, not even the anti-black metal parodies designed specifically to make the genre itself look bad.
This is perhaps the worst album in black metal, by the worst black metal band.
Even Dimmu Borgir and their utterly laughable Enthrone Darkness Triumphant can't topple Nemesis Divina when it comes to how shitty and derivative a black metal album can be.
Nemesis Divina was created with one purpose in mind, and one purpose only: to be featured on MTV music videos.
The band Satyricon itself is just one unfunny joke.
Satyricon claims to be the "only true black metal band", even going so far as to say Darkthrone are posers (!) because they play heavy metal...
Satyr himself is known to be a pathological liar who will constantly make up bullshit about the "black metal inner circle" despite both Varg Vikernes of Burzum and Fenriz of Darkthrone confirming that he was a liar and was, in fact, not part of any black metal scene.
Satyricon also lies about the date at which their albums were released.
It's just a joke band, better left ignored.
Mock Satanic Metal
It's actually phenomenal how I've never hated an album as much as I, and many others in the black metal scene, hate Nemesis Divina.
This album has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
This is your typical "hail satan" single-digit IQ black metal album made for a single-digit IQ audience, and that is pretentious, boring and ultimately incredibly unmemorable.
Nemesis Divina is so unmemorable that I struggle to even write about it, as there is literally nothing I can remember beyond the horrible "mallcore" breakdowns, the 2€ casio keyboards throughout the album, the sounds of gay sex or what I assume to be such on "Transcendental Requiem of Slaves" and Satyr attempting to sing and failing horribly on "Mother North".
Beyond that, nothing stands out.
The riffs all blur together in a mesh of nu-metal unoriginality, the drumming is so sub-standard and unimpressive that you'd believe it was done by a five-year-old retard and the vocals are just shit.
The bass is inaudible, as can be expected from a band that probably doesn't even know what a bass is.
Satyricon is also heard jumping onto the metalcore band wagon and playing those cheesy breakdowns that the Kerrang! fanbase loves so much when done by hardcore "satanic" bands such as Avenged Sevenfold and Skillet.
The plastic-sounding casio synths get a whole paragraph to themselves. Just when you thought nothing else could drag this turd of an album down lower, Satyricon is there to tell you just how wrong you are. They manage to drag this release out of the realm of mediocrity into that of plain shittiness.
The main problem with Nemesis Divina is that it tries too hard to be NecroPedoSadoMaso, without the actual talent and songwriting abilities.
This is quite easily one of, if not the worst album I've ever had the misfortune of hearing.
Only bother if you're the biggest Satyricon/nu-metal fanboy ever. Otherwise, stay the fuck away.
Nemesis Divina is a total embarrassment to the black metal genre.
Nemesis Divina score: 0/100.
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