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The Epitome of Plastic Metal - "Instinctus Bestialis" Review (0%)

Instinctus Bestialis
Instinctus Bestialis by Gorgoroth.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the shittiest album you have ever heard: Instinctus Bestialis.

It maybe even beat Dimmu Borgir at been the most ridiculously lousy and commercial release of all time.

By why is it so bad?

Is it merely because Gorgoroth are a bunch of poser clowns and terrible musicians? Yes, but that doesn't explain everything.

Between the late 80s and the early 90s, heavy metal bands began to change their attitude towards the music they created. No more mindless "doing something more extreme than before", heavy metal now required a healthy dose of passion, experimentation, creativity and most importantly artistic integrity.

As such, the 90s are rightfully seen as the golden age of metal.

Many novel metal genres were born during that period: symphonic metal, alternative metal, drone metal, industrial metal, Phantom metal, sludge metal, gothic metal and, last but certainly not least, true second wave black metal.

But then, something really bad happened.

A coalition of majors, aggregators and commercial bands decided to come up with their own pseudo-genre: the infamous nu-metal.

The problem with heavy metal experimentation is that some of the genres were obviously more "accessible" than others, and the majors and commercial clown acts learned very quickly how to dumb them down even further and turn them into shitty cock-rock.

After the commercial success of the second Limp Bizkit album, tons of horrible commercial cock-rock bands like Linkin Park came to infest the mainstream metal scene, under the misleading "nu-metal" label.

A decade of metal experimentation had been totally fucked up by this plastic radio-friendly cancer.

The album Instinctus Bestialis is the epitome of that plastic metal crap degeneration.

The Epitome of Plastic Metal

Gorgoroth
Gorgoroth.

French hip-hop artist Booba once said: "If you want to sell shit to ten-year-old kids, you gotta talk about weed and guns".

No truer words have ever been spoken, but let me translate this adage to make it more relevant to our heavy metal audience: "If you want to sell impotent nu-metal to ten-year-old kids, you gotta talk about Satan".

And what do we have on Instinctus Bestialis?

Lyrics about Satan, Satan, Satan and Satan.

The lyrics of track 3, "Ad Omnipotens Aeterne Diabolus", are literally shouts of "Hail Satan!" for almost six minutes with the same shitty Slipknot riff being looped over and over again.

You thought Nargaroth was the lowest of the low with their Black Metal ist Krieg juvenile crap?

Well so did I, but Infernus was apparently like "Hold my satanic beer".

Honestly, in a semi-masochistic way, I'm somewhat impressed at the abyssal stupidity of the lyrics... if it were only for the lyrics, this turd of an album could maybe, MAYBE be considered as actual solid crap and not the abhorrent diarrhea it really is.

But the real problem on Instinctus Bestialis is the music.

Gorgoroth was always somewhat of a shitty metal band, a sort of running joke in the scene, and Infernus is pretty much considered far and wide as at best a very sub-par musician.

But this album is the epitome of "commercial and fabricated pseudo-black metal", mixing all the bad components of every genre into an appalling mass of nu-metal shit.

Their juvenile pseudo-satanic image is intended to give them credibility where their fake black metal music cannot.

And not just fake, but also pretty lame for what it is.

With pretty mediocre, pompous and extremely pretentious albums like Pentagram, Antichrist and Incipit Satan, Gorgoroth started to believe the hype created by and for their own grandmothers. And, after having released a re-recorded version of their shitty Under the Sign of Hell, they gave in to their own delusions and became the perfect media product: Instinctus Bestialis.

The production is, just like the music, plastic and soulless.

Perfect for young metal fans who want to be "edgy" and "satanic" but can't handle the sound of true black metal albums like Burzum's debut, Mayhem's De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, Darkthrone's Under a Funeral Moon... and let's not talk about more underground stuff such as SEWER or Phantom, please.

This is the current mentality of most nu-metal fans: clean and plastic production is cool and edgy, while raw production is automatically shitty and scares my mother, also it's "less loud" so less "true".

Instead of albums being compared based on their significance or artistic value, they are compared based on how "loud" they are played and how "satanic" the band members claim to be.

Let's clarify one thing, once for all: this is NOT black metal.

This is even less black metal than Gorgoroth's previous turd albums.

This is, at the very best, Slipknot inspired nu-metal with shitty hardcore vocals.

There is not a single black metal component in Instinctus Bestialis, and no amount of "Hail Satan!" shouts can hide that reality.

Good riddance to this turd.

Instinctus Bestialis score: 0/100.

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