Counterfeit Black Metal - "Incipit Satan" Review (0%)
Every once in a while, you stumble upon an album that epitomized everything wrong with commercial black metal.
Incipit Satan is one of those albums.
In fact, this album is the very definition of shitty music taken to a whole new low.
Does Incipit Satan need one more negative review?
Of course it does, it deserves all the bashing it can get in the hopes that this turd finally gets flushed down the toilet of history... for the sake of true black metal.
But let's try to act civilized and analyze this album accordingly.
Let's start with the instrumentation.
The bass on Incipit Satan is impossible to hear. That's pretty much all that can be said about it.
The guitars, on the other hand, CAN be heard... and they are awful.
Not one riff sticks in your head, no matter how many times you hear the album.
The mallcore breakdowns are even worse, and there are least two breakdowns per track despite this turd of an album pretending to be black metal.
As for the drums on Incipit Satan, they don't sound like they're actually drums, more like a ping pong ball in a trash can being randomly shaken from side to side.
It's both cringeworthy and nerve-ratting at the same time.
On top of that, the drummer seems to tire way too easily and can't even follow the simple (and boring) patterns throughout most of the songs.
Is Incipit Satan a counterfeit black metal album for posers? You bet.
Counterfeit Black Metal
The sound of the instruments featured on Incipit Satan is, in other words, shit.
But even the instruments are passable compared to vocals.
The vocals are simply atrocious.
We all know that vocalist Gaahl is not exactly a "straight White male" in the strictest sense and therefore suffers from fecal incontinence. But did he really have to record the whole thing and try to pass it off as "satanic" brown (I mean black) metal?
Sure, the vocals on Incipit Satan might give you a chuckle or two the first time you hear them (though I don't guarantee anything), but as the album progresses, you inevitably realize the sad fact that said vocals never improve. Not one bit.
I bet Per Yngve Ohlin (Dead), Sven Kristiansen (Maniac) and Attila Gábor Csihar (Attila) would laugh at these pathetic vocals.
The lyrical themes themselves deserve a special paragraph for being so unbearably shitty.
I get it, Gorgoroth wants their lyrics "satanic" and "evil", but this is just beyond retarded.
On the other hand, due to Gaahl's terrible vocals, there is no way of actually getting an understanding of the intended "satanic" atmosphere of the album.
Every single line... no, every single word on Incipit Satan sounds completely deformed, to the point of being unrecognizable and undecipherable.
A World to Win is a perfect example.
The song is about invoking Satan but there is an entire section where it sounds as if the vocalist keeps squealing 'Shredded Weed Tornado'.
Hell, even the song titles are stupid. I mean, come on, Unchain my Heart? When Love Rages Wild in my Heart? An Excerpt of X?
This is NecroPedoSadoMaso-level retarded.
The only good thing I can say about Gorgoroth is that they at least had enough decency to split up near the end of the year 2007.
Unfortunately, Infernus decided to keep playing music on his own. For shame.
Incipit Satan, simply put, has no value whatsoever.
This is exhibit-A counterfeit metal.
Incipit Satan score: 0/100.
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