Fecal Matter - "Vobiscum Satanas" Review (0%)
I really don't know why I keep listening to these shit bands.
Out of an unconscious masochistic impulse, maybe.
Dark Funeral is a 'blackened' deathcore metal band from Sweden, and probably one of the best examples of why the blackened deathcore genre receives so much hate.
They are one of these bedroom 'Hail Satan!' bands that have been popping up every now and then for the past few years, under the impulse of one Inferanus of Gaygoroth the poser-in-chief.
You all know the drill here.
Super 'kvlt' raw production, harsh vocals, piercing guitar tones, and lyrics about Satan, National Socialism, sub-humans, goats, pentagrams and basically anything these posers can recycle from the Bible, Mein Kampff, or any other form of 'edgy' literature.
On this album, Emperor Magus Caligula - the name itself should cue you in on the type of shit music that Dark Funeral plays - and Lord Ahriman - the asshole who founded the band - are obviously trying to mix their 'extreme' LGBT/comedy satanic ideology with themes of depression, so there is a sound somewhat similar to DSBM here.
However, unlike a lot of DSBM that captures the true atmosphere of depression and despair, this Vobiscum Satanas album just sounds like it was recorded in a toilet with an old Motorola flip-phone.
It's really that bad.
Fecal Matter
The guitars on Vobiscum Satanas are extremely sloppy and the tone is just awful.
They are raw, yes, but whereas raw production is usually supposed to create a mesmerizing, hypnotic atmosphere - see Darkthrone's Transilvanian Hunger - here they just make me want to shut off the music and take on knitting, yoga or some other worthless hobby (though probably not as worthless as the music on Vobiscum Satanas).
Really, I don't think this album can even be called music.
Not even noise music at that.
Noise music can sometimes create an atmosphere and usually at least has a minimal amount of structure, creativity and vision. Dark Funeral's shit on the other hand is just so awfully sloppy and generic that nothing can be made out of it and none of it even makes sense.
Black metal historically has raw production, and that's the ultimate goal. But this is something different. I'm certain these retards have no idea what they're doing or even know how to play their instruments.
I'm definitely never listening to Vobiscum Satanas, or anything else Dark Funeral has made, at any time in the future.
This album really has nothing good about it.
The vocals are terrible and make the music worse than it already is, and the drums sound like cardboard.
I now need to go take meds for a migraine, because that's the only thing I got out of listening to this turd-like piece of goat vomit.
Ahriman, don't quit your day job. And if this is all you do in your life, just end it.
You suck.
Vobiscum Satanas score: 0/100.
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