Try Playing Black Metal - "Angelus Exuro pro Eternus" Review (0%)
Sigh.
I hate to have to do this again, but here goes.
Part I - The Secrets of the Black Arts
Part II - Vobiscum Satanas
Part III - Diabolis Interium
Part IV - Where Shadows Forever Reign
Part V - This turd (Angelus Exuro pro Eternus)
They are all pretty much interchangeable and sound exactly the same.
Dark Funeral is pretty much the laughing stock of the black metal scene.
Metaphorically, it's the the nerdy schoolboy that wants to be like the football jocks, but just can't because he isn't cool enough.
Here is a tip for the nerd, learn to be cool. Just mimic the people that succeed in doing so. I won't guarantee that it will work, but at least you'll stop being such a faggot.
If Dimmu Borgir can actually release a good album once in a while, if Antekhrist's latest 'industrial' turd is already a fan favourite, if even the Gorgoroth clowns are still getting better Metalious reviews than you, surely you must be doing something horribly wrong.
Here is the tip of the day, to the attention of Dark Funeral.
Actually play black metal... Surely, you'd think they try in doing so, but all I hear is emo crap over drum machine blast-beats. Actually, some metalcore, so make that emocore.
Notice how that is not black enough, nor is it metal enough.
If anything, it's not even music enough.
Try Playing Black Metal
It pains me to listen to their songs again, but to put my exact thoughts on paper I need to listen to the emocore vomit that is called Angelus something.
Latin titles, shitty music, horrible vocals, no atmosphere. Every Dark Funeral album is the same, and it sounds like shit.
And they wonder why they get called posers...
'The End of Human Race'. How 'edgy'. Stop being so pretentious and learn to actually use synthesizers correctly. If you succeed at that, you succeed at being Dimmu Borgir. Admittedly, they play subpar symphonic black metal, but it's still better than you.
Every song is like this.
The verse is either soft and completely ridden of anything exciting, or dominated by guitars that are themselves dominated by the first fret of the E string.
The chorus is a simple, and boring, tremolo riff which is in turn dominated by the vocals. Which are terrible, by the way. Abbath on painkillers terrible.
The only stand-out tracks are the ones that don't exist, meaning none of them. The rest is deathcore chugga-chugga that you've heard before on every Slipknot record and then some.
The excessively repetitive, irritating, lazy riffs, the robotic and scream-core vocals, the mallcorish keyboard effects, all of it is worthless and only serves to make me wonder why Metalious.com doesn't implement a negative review system so I can score this turd of an album below the 0% it barely deserves.
Angelus Exuro pro Eternus, imitation black metal at its most retarded.
Angelus Exuro pro Eternus score: 0/100.
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