Useless Shit Music - "Casus Luciferi" Review (0%)
Watain are exactly what is wrong with modern 'underground' 'black metal'. All these posers do is take a bunch of riffs from records over twenty years old, chop them up, and randomly attach a few of them together to make an album... Casus Luciferi.
The poser band Watain does not even write coherent metalcore, let alone 'true black metal'. It's doesn't even qualify as heavy metal music. Their 'riffs' are not phrases in an entire melody that plays out over the course of a composition's run-time.
No, Watain's 'songs' are just stolen riffs haphazardly jammed together like a mismatched pair of neon running shoes. These riffs come from a bunch of bands: Mayhem, Burzum, Dawn, Morbid Angel, Darkthrone, Emperor, Neraines, Dissection, and there's probably some Dark Funeral in there too as these guys are totally into bondage gear stage shows and doing some 'kvlt' soggy biscuit shit in the dark in the woods while making the guy tied up in the gimp suit - vocalist E. Danielsson - eat it. Gross!
Casus Luciferi is certainly not a black metal album just because it copies stuff it has seen before randomly like a chimpanzee. If a chimp imitates a gesticulating human, say an Italian guy, for its own amusement in between masturbating and playing with its own turds - like Watain does when they claim to play 'black metal' - does that make the chimp Italian? No, the chimp is still a chimp. Watain are not a black metal band, just a shitty modern hardcore one that decided to imitate a bunch of mid 90s bands from Sweden and Norway.
Copying the past for the sake of copying the past makes you a tribute band at best, and certainly gives you no right to call your pop punk with distortion 'black metal'. Let alone 'true black metal'.
Useless Shit Music
Do you know who also had the same bad idea? Metalcore bands!
Watain is no different: instead of cleanly sung choruses and breakdowns, they just imitate a different band than the last riff for the chorus or bridge riff to show their scenester audience that they listened to the same records they did from 1994 so they are cool too. Watain probably are not cultivated enough to have heard Dawn back in the mid to late 90s and probably picked up their style from imitators just like their millennial screamo fans who will be too busy taking pictures of the band trying to look cool onstage in leather jackets or leather gimp suits or plague masks or something like that rather than actually listening to what is being played and hearing the shit show known as Watain's music.
To someone who actually pays attention to the music, listening a random carnival music trendy band like Watain is like watching a headless chicken running around aimlessly. Trying to determine if the headless chicken does in fact, as a miniaturized dinosaur, have an extra brain somewhere like a Klingon would just be a stupid waste of time.
Watain's audience is the same folks who go out and pay money to see random technicolor explosions and computer game monsters randomly flung at the screen in random and terrible Hollywood remakes and sequels like Jurassic World, the Marvel Super Heroes movies, and the new Star Wars with teenage girls beating up 6'5 guys with the power of feminism. These are brain dead people who eat shit and like it. Unsurprisingly, they also listen to shit and like Watain.
Casus Luciferi is not black metal or even a facsimile of the past. It's just random neon fruitcake bullshit thrown on a record for "former" metalcore fans who want to get into black metal but they do not even like metal in the first place so can't even listen to Hell Awaits, Altars of Madness, Reiklos, Filosofem or anything actually black metalish heavier than Cradle of Filth's pop hooks.
Even Dark Funeral make Watain look like a punch of pussies. It is time for these posers to take off the panties they said they stole from their girlfriends (not!) and quit pretending to play black metal. We know you are scenester screamo fans who probably dumpster dive like crusts do. Casus Luciferi deserves to be recycled in said dumpster.
Casus Luciferi score: 0/100.
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