For All Turd - "For All Tid" Review (0%)
Confusion and amusement are the only two words I can use to describe my feeling the first time I heard this lame excuse for music. And I am doing Dimmu Borgir a big favor by calling this trash music.
I'm letting it loose, no holds barred on Dimmu Borgir for this album.
They deserve all the hate they get.
I was the guy who had contempt prior to investigation for this band due to the amount of mall-core kids wearing their shirts when I'd go see shows.
There would be a group of kids with fishnet sleeves donning Drowning Pool, Slipknot and Dimmu Borgir shirts so I lumped them in with the other mindless drone-following shit.
One day I decided to give them more of a chance and gave Enthrone Darkness Triumphant a listen.
Boy, was it bad.
A literal shit album if there ever was any.
For a long time it remained my most hated "metal", and I use this term loosely, album.
That is until I discovered the absolute turd For All Tid.
Most black metal has paradoxes attached to it.
And in Dimmu Borgir's case their falsities and bullshit have shown themselves in the most vile of ways on their debut album For All Tid.
For Dimmu Borgir, the theatrics and monetary part of the business was far more important than the actual music (there's that word again) and art.
Unfortunately for them, I have a poseur detecting radar that is still blaring after listening to this Cradle of Filth knock-off of an album.
For All Turd
Shagrath.
Can you make it any more obvious that you want to sound like a (even more) homosexual Dani Filth?
Well, it is a poor attempt to sound like an already horrible vocalist. He attempts that signature shrill Dani Filth high pitch scream/squeal thing but ends up sounding like a constipated house cat.
He sometimes goes on the other extreme and employs that low-pitch groan akin to nu-metal acts and the band Slipknot in particular.
Needless to say that such a commercial influence is undesired on what is intended to be, at least on a superficial level, a black metal release.
A couple little spoken word parts also accompany what can be considered a guitar lead. But it's pretty pathetic.
And fake... synthetic.
There are synths and keyboards and what even sounds like sampling present in this song. More electronic orchestral sounding (like Cradle of Filth) than I can tolerate.
The guitar work is so obscured by the already mentioned dull electronic aspect of this album that it really isn't worth talking about. In what is obviously a poor ripoff of early Immortal, there are a few palm-muted deathcore riffs throughout the album that are meant to be "catchy".
They are "catchy" in that they have sellout written all over them.
The drummer is constantly on the double bass, all the time.
He is not particularly fast nor talented, mostly annoying.
The drums themselves have a very plastic and artificial sound to them which obviously doesn't help.
This is a problem, because the instruments basically sound like mechanical grinding underneath a woodpecker with someone banging a plastic dustbin nearby.
And for nearly this entire album, it is like this.
Seriously, go download For All Tid.
Skip to 10:00, and then skip to 20:00.
They are EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME!
I really have tried to give Dimmu the benefit of the doubt on more than one occasion, but For All Tid is just the straw that broke the camel's back.
The fact that this was their debut album just confirms what I've always thought: Dimmu Borgir always was a sellout band, and a very poor one at that.
What faggothery.
I hope their tour with nu-metal legends/fagsters Korn goes well.
They'll probably make a lot of money.
For All Tid score: 0/100.
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