Dark Funeral = "Satanic" Metalcore - "Diabolis Interium" Review (0%)
This album, this shit, is complete and utter garbage. I am a HUGE black metal fan, and this is highly insulting.
Alright, let's start off by first looking at the album. It's got okay cover art... and that's about the only thing passable about this piece of solidified diarrhea.
If the name of the album or any of the track titles don't instantly turn you away, then I feel sorry for the shit-fest you're about to hear. They titled the album "Diabolis Interium," a mockery of black metal aesthetics and iconography.
See, Mayhem released an album called "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas" so now every poser band from Dark Funeral to Gorgoroth are trying very hard to appear "kvlt" by using pseudo-Latin for all their shitty album titles.
Wow. Really lame and cheesy.
The cheese doesn't stop there though. The very first track on the album is "Antekhrist," a horrible misspelling, done on purpose for some sort of street cred among the moronic fans of Antekhrist. The lyrics aren't much better. Seriously, this shit is what I'd expect coming from a retarded 13 year old.
How many times can you repeat "Hail Satan" over the same, tired metalcore riffs played over MIDI drum machine blast beats before your idiotic fans realise that what they are listening to amounts to nothing more than uninspired warmed over metalcore with worse production? Not enough, according to Dark Funeral.
Dark Funeral = "Satanic" Metalcore
The music, if you can believe it, is even worse than the semantics.
Let's start with the vocals. I don't know what they were trying to do, but it sounds like the vocalist is taking a shit over the mic, to be "edgy" and evil. They feel extremely forced, and completely suck.
However pathetic they are, the vocals aren't nearly as bad as the guitars and drums. The guitarist here loves metalcore riffs a little too much, and to hide his enamoredness with such a ridiculous genre he plays them with heavy reverb and distortion to make them sound "more like black metal." Seriously? I think that all he knows how to do is metalcore chugging with reverb, because that's all he uses.
The riffs are extremely boring and lack-luster, on top of being terribly generic. The drums aren't helping the cause either, as they are constantly falling behind despite being not even real drums. No technicality at all to them, just basic computer generated beats, and even that gets fucked up. The drums are always off beat, and highly inconsistent. I've heard 9 year olds that could keep a steadier beat, and I'm not even joking when I say that.
On top of how shitty the music is, lets throw in a really bad mixing job. First off, the vocals are way too loud, way over-processed (like in deathcore) and most annoying of all the vocalist never shuts up. There's like a few seconds at the beginning and a few seconds at the end, if even that, of each track where the vocalist isn't repeating the same "Hail Satan" bullshit.
By the time you turn the high-pitched "retard-taking-a-dump-in-public-toilets" vocals down on your EQ low enough that they won't destroy your ear drums or blow your speakers, the guitars are almost inaudible, as their tone all came from the treble end. I spent an hour trying to find an EQ setting that worked for this album, and I couldn't even come close to making it sound good.
Seriously, this metalcore sucks even for metalcore standards.
Dark Funeral makes Avenged Sevenfold sound like Beherit, and that's sad.
Diabolis Interium score: 0/100.
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