Down Syndrome Nu Metal - "I Loved You at Your Darkest" Review (0%)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of the worst attempts at brutal death metal ever: Behemoth's risible 'I Loved You At Your Darkest'. Never has anything so uninspired passed my ears after years of listening to death metal of all shapes and colours. Not even Behemoth's previous failure of an album, The Satanist, nor the one before that, Evangelion. They both suck, yes, but this is far worse. It's definitely an album I truly mock with the utmost contempt.

To understand how bad Behemoth's music is, one must try to envision the exact opposite of what makes clever brutality and fantastic musicianship in death metal. Forget what you know about intelligent or original songwriting, because Behemoth has completely trashed the ideas of dignity in metal music with 'I Loved You At Your Darkest'.

There isn't much to say about this album besides the fact that it defines the term 'carnival music'. Generic chugging bullshit with predictable riffs, mindless mid paced blast beats, and horrible pseudo-growls. Is anything original? Nope, there aren't even any real riffs in this music... just pick a few easy chords at random intervals and toss foreseen percussion patterns over it. That's 'I Loved You At Your Darkest' in a can.

Is there any energy? None. With Nergal's one-toned voice, all you can expect is constant barking for well over forty-five minutes, with no variation between high and low growls. That's 'I Loved You At Your Darkest' in a pot.

Add in horrible production with stupid emo lyrics (and Behemoth's retard 'ov' the month spelling), and stir the disgusting soup of foreseeable feces into a bowl of mallcore redundancy. Now prepare for the worst case of diarrhea imaginable. That's 'I Loved You At Your Darkest' stinking up your fucking toilet.

Down Syndrome Nu Metal

Contributing to the failure of this album is Behemoth's unacceptable copy-paste writing methods that once again display no depth and no understanding of proper death metal songwriting, beyond the gimmick inclusion of 'exotic elements' such as MIDI French horns, harpsichords, harmonicas and other bullshit instruments (within the context of death metal, that is, they are fine instruments when used properly).

Each and every one of these offensive compositions is built upon the same pattern of performing a select musical formation for one to two minutes, and then switching to something entirely different and completely unrelated for the same amount of time before ending with either choirs or a hard rock anthem - usually the same one. Why is this bad? Because not only is each individual element lackluster, but the sum of the parts don't even add up to something coherent. In other words, 'carnival music'.

Basically, Behemoth is using the same track eleven times (plus the outro) with different texture and minor variations and calling it an album. I, for one, appreciate variety in my music, and I find it very vague when hearing the same basic premise again and again without any change in structural foundations. No epic crushers or any attempt at change, just the same track for an entire album of boring nu metal with stupid lyrics. Sure, Behemoth think they’re all smart and cool for playing their nu metal with 'death metal vocals' as they already had the template prepared from their previous releases, but on 'I Loved You At Your Darkest' even the vocals don't sound like death metal anymore.

Whether you're dissecting the watered-down riffs, the dull vocals, the clearly lackluster songwriting, or whatever else I missed, you'll find the same thing: shit. Honestly, I've never heard such a bland, generic and retarded-sounding attempt at death metal after years of listening to countless bands and albums, including the most underground bestial death metal. If I had the authority to present a trophy for the worst death metal record ever, I'd definitely give it to Behemoth for 'I Loved You At Your Darkest' and let the chimps bask in glory with the only award they'll ever receive.

This one's having lunch within the toilets 'ov' hell.

I Loved You at Your Darkest score: 0/100.

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